Jug :: Minneapolis Country Music

Corey Rae White Slips to Third in White Household Pecking Order

Jug is Among Region's Elite
The talented players of the Minneapolis/St. Paul-based band, Jug, have entertained crowds at premiere events and clubs for over twenty years. The Jugmen, coming from such renowned groups as the Johnny Holm Band, Jonah and the Whales, High Noon, Dazy Head Mazy, and Janie in Wonderland, have performed multiple times at We Fest as well as at the Minnesota State Fair, the Mall of America, the biggest county fairs and festivals, and virtually every “A” room in Minnesota. They have shared the stage with international superstars such as Toby Keith, Tim McGraw, Martina McBride, Sawyer Brown, Pam Tillis, SheDaisy, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Rhett Akins, Miranda Lambert, Phil Vassar, Montgomery Gentry, Tracy Lawrence, Jamie O’Neil, and Emerson Drive.

Original members Darrin Rosha (rhythm guitar) and Corey Rae White (lead guitar) are joined by Reggie Hammond on keys, Mike Haselman on pedal steel, fiddle, and telecaster guitar, Kale Olson-Reed on bass, fiddle, and mandolin, and Jonathan Hess on drums. All six contribute vocally. more...

Jug Members Claim "It's an Honor to Just Not Be Nominated!"
May 10, 2007 - St. Paul, MN. A spokesman for Twin Cities-based country band, Jug, released a statement Thursday that the members of Jug were "honored to just not be nominated" for any award of any kind at next Tuesday's Academy of Country Music Awards ceremony.

Jug keyboard player and sophisticated hat-wearer Reggie Hammond explained, "I mean, Garth Brooks wasn't nominated. Clint Black was left out, as were Alabama and Shania. Even Hank Williams himself wasn't nominated. To be included in that kind of company is beyond any of our wildest dreams as country artists." more...

Jug Singer a Tantalizing Two Years from Regrowing Mullet

Jug Guitar Slinger Singlehandedly "Brings Sexy Back"
"We're low on Sexy?" asked a seemingly shocked Corey Rae White, Jug's Olympic-level guitar guru when alerted of a Sexy-deficiency at a Jug show in mid-April. "Why didn't you say something? I'm on the job!"

Male and female patrons of Jug shows have been nearly unanimous in their assessment of a Sexy shortfall at the performances. While there have been no incidents of violence or acts of civil disobedience reported in response to the growing unSexy crisis, it has been clear that certain leaders in the Jugfan nation are not amused. more...

Good Citizens of Mankato Pay WAAAAAY Too Much!

Scientists Discover Female Satisfaction Phenom "The Jugasm"
June 11, 2007 - Geneva, Switzerland. Scientists at the World Center for Women's Health, Fitness, and Satisfaction announced this week that they had identified a new phenomenon in female satisfaction called "the Jugasm." The first "asm" discovered since 2000's ill-fated "Goregasm" (over 50% want it, but nobody gets it), the Jugasm has become widespread among women who gravitate to cheap beer and shameless dancing.

"We were quite startled at the discovery," stated Dr. Alexandria Sutherland of the U.K. "What really surprised us is that all of this female gratification was being accomplished with little or no awareness by the men involved in the situation." more...

Real-life Charlie's Angels Cut Trailer Park Crime Rate in Half

Girl Forced to Participate in "Take Your Daughter to a Gig Day"
February 30, 2007 - Burnsville, MN. "That poor thing," was heard numerous times throughout the evening as a girl only known as "Chelsea" stood nearly motionless onstage while country band, Jug, played to a packed house at Renegades in the southern metro.

"Somebody at least bring her a juice box," said visibly upset Jugfan, Tammy Frogge. "She's gotta be getting thirsty under those lights." more...

Corey Lands Coveted Role in "Gilligan's Island - The Musical"
February 1, 2007 - Minneapolis, MN. Jug guitar superstar Corey Rae White overcame six hundred competitors to land the ultimate rock star role as Thurston Howell III in the Guthrie's upcoming presentation of Gilligan's Island - The Musical.

"He's absolutely ecstatic!" exclaims Corey's mother and landlord, Gale. "He's been running around the house all day singing some song by . . . Van Heusen or something . . . called 'Hot for Lovey.' I haven't seen him this excited since he got Happy the Hippo, limited edition Beanie Baby." more...

Jug Singer Keeps Talking About Touchdown Scored in 5th Grade
February 14, 2007 - St. Paul, MN. "Shut up already!" huffed Jug guitar maestro, Corey Rae White. "I mean, that was decades ago." White is commenting on the fact that, according to the other members of Jug, singer and guitar putz Darrin Rosha has been relentless in describing what he calls "the play," a forty-yard touchdown Rosha scored playing for the McKinley Elementary Monkeys fifth-grade football team.

"It was one for the books," Rosha said, as he struck the famous 'Heisman pose' while holding a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon like a football. "We were fighting for a shot at the playoffs, which of course meant our picture in the Owatonna Peoples' Press newspaper. And everyone knows how the chicks respond to a guy who has his picture in the paper." more...

Guitar Slinger's New Hit Draws New Fans!
March 16, 2007 - Big Lake, MN. "They just don't friggin' get it!" ranted Jug guitar king, Corey Rae White. "The little freaks are seriously creeping me out!"

White is protesting the enormous influx of children, primarily girls between the ages of 6 and 10, at country supergroup Jug's outdoor shows. The kids, called "Juglets" by local media, began swarming the band after White's self-penned smash, "Tickle Tickle, Wiggle Wiggle, Giggle Giggle" hit the radio waves this spring. more...

NOT Opening for Emerson Drive
Jug will NOT be opening for Emerson Drive. The guys are not opening doors, beverages, or playing music. They've just decided they are not opening. They are holding out for Carrie Underwood . . . in more ways than one.

Jug Opens AND Jams with Rhett Akins
January 17, 2007 - Sauk Rapids, MN
The Jug tour bus limped into the Benton Station parking lot Wednesday night to do an "Unplugged Jug" opening set for country superstar, Rhett Akins.
more...

Band Releases Photo from Jonathan Hess's Jug Audition

New Break in the Kennedy Assasination Investigation!

First Tryouts for the Jugazon School of Modeling a Huge Success
On the advice of Reggie Hammond's cousin, Eddie the Weasel, Jug placed an ad in several women's magazines for auditions to be accepted into the Jugazon School of Modeling.

Female candidates were required to bring a bucket of Mich Golden Light bottles to the stage as an entry fee, they were given a book to balance on their heads, and they were run through a series of "modeling-related skillz tests." more...

Irresponsible Behavior Meant Early Responsibilty for Jug Singer

Exchange Student Discovers Hot "Americans Vimmen"
January 22, 2007 - Ramsey, MN. German exchange student, Hans Wunderpeter, tried his hand at improving Germanic-American relations at the latest Jug show in this up-and-coming Anoka County town. "At zie first, I vas deesgusted by zie vatery beer visout zie taste," Hans sneers. "Den I zee zat der 'voom voom' Americans vimmen gets zexier und zexier mit each patetic kleine glasse."

Hans later remarked at how the female fans became wildly uninhibited by the provocative, primal beats put down by Jug drummer, Gary Haberman. Hans also noted that the aphrodesiatic quality of Jug's music allowed his efforts to explore all North America has to offer to move along like "mein Porsche on zie autobahn." more...

Jug Members Reveal Real Reason for Getting into Music
St. Paul, MN - Contrary to popular belief, the music just might not have been the first reason the guys in Jug joined a band.

Reggie Hammond Takes Art World by Storm
February 2, 2007 - New York, NY. The entire New York City art community is abuzz with excitement over Jug keyboardist Reggie Hammond's latest addition to his collection at the Metropolitan Museum of Contemporary Art titled, "Out Pig!"

A minimalist expression showing Reggie's reaction -- with his rock star hair flowing -- to an uninvited swine's invasion of his vegetable patch has critics and the general public again in awe. more...

Drunk Amazon Woman Places Gigantic Beer on Jug Singer's Shoulder

Johnny Holm Band Commandeers Jug Stage
In a horrifying display of aggression, several members of the Johnny Holm Band pushed the smaller, weaker members of Jug off the stage during their January 6th show at the South St. Paul VFW.

"Everyone knows that Johnny Holm is more respected, talented, better known, and paid a lot more than Jug," said Jug singer and acoustic flailer Darrin Rosha. "But that doesn't mean they should manhandle us during our emotional rendition of Brown-eyed Girl!" more...

Exchange Student Strikes Again!

Jug Joins Labor Department's "Keep Our Seniors Working" Program
January 28, 2007 - St. Paul, MN. "We want to give something back to those who have given us so much," explains Jug singer and guitar novice, Darrin Rosha. "When we heard about long lines of our nation's seniors shivering outside of Wal-Marts, hoping to land jobs as greeters, we sat down and talked about finding a way to help."

Rosha describes the band's support as strong as a Brad Paisley guitar riff, which Rosha will never actually be able to effectively play. "We talked about all the great things the older generation has provided us, like teaching us to do chores and to be frugal by giving us meager allowances. Those things have prepared us for life as underappreciated musicians," Rosha says. "Sure we're concerned about inheriting global warming and strained international relations from them, but can we hold that against an entire generation?" more...

Corey Rae White Finally gets Down
After months of seriously NOT getting down, Corey, with the aid of two beers and the Patch, finally discovered how to get down.

Provocative Dress Lands Patches the Jug Pug in Hot Water

Jug Member Makes Paternity Claim
February 13, 2007 - Minneapolis, MN. At a hastily arranged press conference outside the Uptown McDonald's in this midwestern city, Jug bass player, Darren King announced his strong belief that he is, in fact, the father of recently deceased Anna Nicole Smith's newborn daughter.

"I just want to do what's right," said an emotional King, known as "Ding" by his bandmates. "What started out as an innocent-enough affair turned pretty intense, passionate. There was no denying the attraction. It didn't end like I expected, but I'm man enough to take responsibility. It's the way I was raised." more...